Dear Beloveds,
For my birthday this month, my eldest, Elijah, gifted me with a book on the writings of the Dutch philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. When our family gives each other books as gifts, we try to inscribe them with something meaningful in the first pages. For this book, Elijah wrote,
“… I hope you feel God’s love when you read this. Or learn something. Either one is cool.”
I tore into it immediately.
I do find joy when I read Kierkegaard’s thoughts. While this was a man who truly struggled and searched for his faith, he tried to find deep meaning in life, all the while grappling with a horrible sense of guilt and hopelessness at times. For the entirety of his short life, he continued to wrestle with who God was and God’s place in this world.
In his last book, he wrote “…there is not a single human being who does not despair at least a little, in whose innermost being there does not dwell an uneasiness, an unquiet, a discordance, an anxiety in the face of an unknown something.”
For some reason, these words bring me comfort. They tell me that on the days when I struggle and doubt, I am not alone; that there are others through time and history who know the feelings that I feel. That there is room to explore and doubt even when we believe in the living God.
While Kierkegaard can be regarded as a tortured soul to some, one of his main tenets was the concept of the “leap of faith”, which he explained as a mysterious and complex decision to arrive at a place to trust in God. He believed that ultimately, we need to make a conscious decision to trust in something that may or may not be able to be explained or proven completely.
I so enjoy Kierkegaard’s works, as they reflect the challenge for all of us to examine our lives, to embrace the existential moments we have, to step back and confront our faith lives, and live as authentically as we can each day in seeking God in the ordinary. I hope this for all of us!
With great love for you,
Pastor Grace